You must first be dressed as a geek to go forward with this one. And there is no overdoing it, tape those glasses, dust off that pocket protector, flood those pants, even whip out your old retainer! Go to town by all means. Think.... Erkle. Now a geek doesn't drive fast a geek drives slow, they stop at stop signs too long, they are going 20 UNDER in the fast lane, and they don't get in the turn lane when making left hand turns. In general you want to drive annoyingly, which is sure to get your pulled over.
Now if and when you actually get pulled over you had better already practiced your snort/laugh, and remember; speak through the nose, the more nasally you sound the better. When you roll down your window to talk to officer friendly, every time he asks you a question you are going to put the snort/laugh to use. Think, inside joke, and do not let on to what is so funny. If the officer asks you why you are laughing just say "oh nothing, just a little nervous habit I have..." then answer his question. Smile and scrunch that nose up, show those buck teeth off too.
After asking for your license and proof of insurance, the first question the officer always asks you is "Do you know why I pulled you over?". To this you will answer, "For being too smart and devilishly handsome...." and then snort/laugh hysterically for a full minute, no less. I can guarantee that officer friendly will not find this amusing, and you must make this painfully obvious by stopping the laughing, frowning, and saying "Well I can see that you're in no mood for my witty banter today, so what seems to be the problem officer?" remember to push your glasses back up your nose now and then.
It's also a nice touch if you happen to have some Kleenex handy to blow your nose obnoxiously loud from time to time, it's never too much either, maybe even ask him to hold your Kleenex while you search for your license. If he comments on your habit, tell him that you're allergic to gun powder then look at his gun belt with wide eyes just long enough to make him uncomfortable. Keep on looking until he finds a way to draw your attention back to his face, and when he does that look startled and distracted.
It would be a great idea to also have a bag that your license is in, the larger and the more odd s&!% you have in there the better. Dump that bag out and search for that license. Things like live insects in jars, a scientific calculator, binoculars, all kinds of pens and pencils, and loose paper with half eaten candy stuck to it, pornographic magazines, or even better a plain lingerie cataloge from Sear or JCPenny would be fantastic. While your searching for your license ask him to hold some of these odd objects, see how much of your odd s&!% he will hold. The whole idea is, the more pointless time you take up delaying the process the better. This one is sure to get you off the hook since he will probably give up before you do.
Now if and when you actually get pulled over you had better already practiced your snort/laugh, and remember; speak through the nose, the more nasally you sound the better. When you roll down your window to talk to officer friendly, every time he asks you a question you are going to put the snort/laugh to use. Think, inside joke, and do not let on to what is so funny. If the officer asks you why you are laughing just say "oh nothing, just a little nervous habit I have..." then answer his question. Smile and scrunch that nose up, show those buck teeth off too.
After asking for your license and proof of insurance, the first question the officer always asks you is "Do you know why I pulled you over?". To this you will answer, "For being too smart and devilishly handsome...." and then snort/laugh hysterically for a full minute, no less. I can guarantee that officer friendly will not find this amusing, and you must make this painfully obvious by stopping the laughing, frowning, and saying "Well I can see that you're in no mood for my witty banter today, so what seems to be the problem officer?" remember to push your glasses back up your nose now and then.
It's also a nice touch if you happen to have some Kleenex handy to blow your nose obnoxiously loud from time to time, it's never too much either, maybe even ask him to hold your Kleenex while you search for your license. If he comments on your habit, tell him that you're allergic to gun powder then look at his gun belt with wide eyes just long enough to make him uncomfortable. Keep on looking until he finds a way to draw your attention back to his face, and when he does that look startled and distracted.
It would be a great idea to also have a bag that your license is in, the larger and the more odd s&!% you have in there the better. Dump that bag out and search for that license. Things like live insects in jars, a scientific calculator, binoculars, all kinds of pens and pencils, and loose paper with half eaten candy stuck to it, pornographic magazines, or even better a plain lingerie cataloge from Sear or JCPenny would be fantastic. While your searching for your license ask him to hold some of these odd objects, see how much of your odd s&!% he will hold. The whole idea is, the more pointless time you take up delaying the process the better. This one is sure to get you off the hook since he will probably give up before you do.
